What is the real problem?

I wonder why people run? If you think one way of yourself, then why do things never work out. Now that I have school under control, I feel like I am missing something. Its weird to be lonely because I was never the type to need a man. I would love to have one though. Not even on a boyfriend level but the companionship of a person of the opposite sex is strongly being missed. I feel like I am at a stand still and feeling like this has me not thinking like myself. I am beyond independent and goal orientated but I am not the type of woman that thinks she can be without men.

It been about 11 months since my ex-boyfriend was found cheating on me. When I asked him what I did or what went wrong, he said "nothing, I was the perfect girlfriend". This statement blows my mind because if he claims he was satisfied then why did it end the way it did. How is it possible for someone to give their all and things still don't work out. I have never cheated and I put 100 % on everything I do yet I still get treated wrongly.

For once, I would like to just meet a nice guy. A real man who know what telling the truth is. Who is not scared to show his feelings and be attached to one woman. Who knows and appreciates that I want him and do not need him. Who is secure enough to do what he needs to do in his life so that the relationship can work. Who is not scared of a relationship for that matter. Who knows how to treat a woman without her having to tell him. I feel like I am asking too much but I feel like it is very easy to keep me happy.

FILLED VOID

CONFUSED AND TO WHY

THAT OTHER HALF CONTINUES TO LIE

AS I TRY

MY HARDEST. TRY MY HARDEST TO BE YOURS

SUCCESS IS RUNNING OUT MY PORES

YET YOU STILL DON'T WANT ME

WHAT IS LEFT

THIS MUST BE A TEST

A TEST OF MY ABILITY TO THRIVE

CONTINUING TO STRIVE

THOUGH I AM CARRYING YOU

YOUR DOUBLE WEIGHT IS GETTING OLD

WHAT HAPPENED TO OLD SCHOOL CHIVALRY

IS IT FOREVER DONE?

I KNOW I AM BETTER THEN SOME

ITS IN MY BLOOD TO PERSEVERE.

NOW WHAT?

WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?

IT SEEMS LIKE I HAVE TO SUFFER

YOU CANT EXPRESS YOURSELF, I SUFFER

YOU FALL INTO THAT TYPICAL CATEGORY

THAT YOU CLAIM SO HARD YOU DON'T WANT TO FIT INTO

I SUFFER

YOU RUN YOUR LIFE ON THIS DOUBLE STANDARD

AND SINCE YOU MESS UP MY IMAGE OF PRINCE CHARMING

I SUFFER

YET I STILL LOVE HARD

I LOVE MYSELF LIKE YOU CANT IMAGINE

TRUST ME ITS WITH A PASSION YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ARE MISSING

THIS VOID WILL ALWAYS BE FILLED WHETHER YOU ARE AROUND OR NOT

BUT I WANT YOU IN THAT SPOT

I WANT YOU TO BE THE MAN MY EXPECTATIONS BUILD YOU UP TO BE

YOU MADE A FOOL OF ME,

LOOK WHAT YOU DO TO ME,

ARE YOU THROUGH WITH ME?

WHY AREN'T YOU MAN ENOUGH TO TELL ME?

SPARE ME

THE DETAILS OF YOUR EXCUSES AND COME CLOSER

COME INTO MY WORLD AND RECEIVE YOUR HAPPINESS

BECAUSE I WILL FOREVER BE A QUEEN...

ARE YOU THAT KING?

FINALLY?